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Below you can learn more about me.
Childhood - I was born to two young parents who did not wish to have the burden of responsibility. My parents were both narcissistic psychopaths who lacked a sense of responsibility for their children. This left me and my sister living alone and in strange environments throughout much of our adolescence. During my childhood, I suffered through numerous evictions, homelessness, hunger, constant and violent rage, physical violence, bullying, living in shelters, foster homes, and abandonment. In the face of my mother’s addictions and absences, I did my best to care for my younger sister until I was taken away by the state and sent into many different foster homes starting at the age of 12. Since childhood, I have been aware of the emotional suffering of others. These traumatic and harrowing childhood experiences helped me to develop these gifts of knowing and awareness.
Early Adulthood - When I turned 18, I was finally able to start a life of my own. I worked three jobs so that I could create a more secure life for myself that was so different from my childhood. However, I was still living in a repressed, non-integrated state of awareness. My work life was completely separated from my personal life. In my personal life, I experimented with psychotropic drugs in the electronic music movement. It was here that I experienced a feeling of unconditional love, friendship, and acceptance for the first time. It gave me a felt experience of connection to the universal field of love that we all inhabit. But these awarenesses conflicted with the experience of my 9-5 job as a paralegal that gave me a felt experience of separation. Ultimately, this internal conflict would lead to a very serious threat to my life.
A Grave Threat - By the time I reached early adulthood, my body had endured so much stress from survival that I developed an autoimmune disease that threatened my life. During this time, I was close to death many times. Within two weeks of my being diagnosed with Grave’s Disease, my health deteriorated so much that I became bed ridden for a year and a half, As a result, I lost everything I had worked so hard to build for myself; my boyfriend, job, home, car, and friends. After many years of illness and struggle to regain financial and career stability, I was forced to remove my thyroid and to re-imagine my life in new ways alone.
A New Beginning - Having been forced to let go of my ego attachment to the identity I had created in the corporate world, I allowed my intuition to help me envision a new career path as a Neuromuscular Therapist. With a lot of hard work, I eventually developed a successful business rehabilitating professional NFL athletes for over ten years. My clients jokingly gave me the nickname, “The Body Whisperer,” because of how my intuitive gifts helped me to isolate the root cause of physical, emotional, and even psychological dysfunction and know what was needed to heal it. I became a master healer with the ability to resolve deep seeded dysfunction. After a move to the West Coast, I continued this healing work with some of the brightest minds in the Silicon Valley.
Losing Everything Again - Even though from the outside I had a successful career healing some of the most influential people, I still had not integrated my past trauma and was still actively repressing much of the pain. This repressed pain and lack of support would manifest itself as an overwhelm that made me feel like I couldn’t continue living. One day, I was triggered by my fiance’s fit of violent rage to attempt to take my own life. This experience impacted my fiance in a great way, waking him up to what is really important in life and healing our relationship. However, four months later, my fiance passed away in his sleep while I laid next to him. The shock of his passing ripped away the veil and helped me to see things as I had never seen them before. Illusions were torn away as I lost my identity and vision for my future. This experience caused me to feel all alone again and struggling to survive without any support from friends or family.
Meeting Chris - For several years, I dealt with constant suicidal thoughts and failed attempts to take my own life. Every time I would try to commit suicide, some kind of external force would intervene - a neighbor that wouldn't leave, a steering wheel that wouldn't turn off a cliff. This led me to read about the ego and how it worked. I eventually had to decide to commit to either living or dying - I could no longer ride the divide. I knew that the only way I could survive was by contributing to something bigger than myself. I started working again in the healing profession while working on healing myself. Soon after, my future husband and soulmate and I found each other online through a Facebook page he had started called Sustainable Man.
An integrated Life - Chris and I moved back to San Francisco to figure out how we would be of service to the world. To do this, I needed to reflect upon the culmination of all my life experiences have shown me about myself and my relationships with the world. I began to write the traumatic stories from my childhood to allow myself to feel the grief that I was unable to as a child. This process was very healing as I was able to uncover the emotional triggers that led to the overwhelm that would threaten my life. Unfortunately, Chris's parents did not trust or accept the authenticity of my open heart and ultimately rejected us, causing me to die to the dream of finding a loving family. I've spent years working to heal and integrate all of my life experiences, developing tools that anyone can use to recover and integrate the wisdom from their experiences, both past and present. Chris and I now live in Phoenix and we continue to work with people to try to bring about a more harmonious and peaceful world.